


Respite

by mirroralchemist



Series: FFXIV Musings [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: ARR spoilers, F/M, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, In which WoL is a virgin and Haurchefant respects that, Inconsistent ways of dealing with regret, Intercrural Sex, It broke down into smut ya'll, My First Work in This Fandom, Other characters mentioned - Freeform, POV First Person, Porn with Feelings, Porn with some plot, no beta I die like a chump, poor way of dealing with insomnia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:54:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24802651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirroralchemist/pseuds/mirroralchemist
Summary: Before she begins her journey into Ishgard proper, WoL has a restless night in Camp Dragonhead. Mind still filled with what happened in Ul'dah, she cannot let go of the unease within.Haurchefant, being the good friend he is tries to help. She just never expected his help would be so unorthodox.
Relationships: Haurchefant Greystone/Warrior of Light
Series: FFXIV Musings [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1916755
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	Respite

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't ask me how this came about. I don't know. This is the most involved I've written for smut. So be gentle uwu. 
> 
> I deadass didn't expect my first fic for the XIV section here would be this, but life be like that sometimes.

The snowy night of Camp Dragonhead did little to give me rest I needed. Normally, such cold weather did not bother me overmuch. It was a joke from the gods it seemed. I had suggested we took a small respite before heading to the gates that would lead us into Ishgard. The trials before our arrival here was clearly taking its toll on us. The Scions, the ones that were left after the banquet in Ul’dah, were ready to collapse.

It had been more than a physical trial, but mentally as well.

I allowed myself to wander to the sleeping forms of Tataru and Alphinaud. My gaze lingering on the Elezen boy. This had been especially trying for him. To witness the fruits of your intention become so corrupted so completely. Gods, I can scarcely begin to try and emphasize his troubles. Witnessing his confidence waver so badly was heartbreaking. With a passing sigh, I rose from my cot. Another bell had passed in an fruitless attempt at sleep. Giving one longing look to my companions, I leave our quarters for the night.

The landscape looked serene with the snow. It did little to quell the rage of emotions in my chest. When I close my eyes, images of that night invaded. Seeing the Sultana’s lifeless body under the spilled tainted wine. The sneer of that traitorous bastard as I was bound and beaten. The phantom pain of those too tight bindings on my wrist to prevent me from using my limbs as weapons.

My footsteps seemed amplified under the crunch of fresh snow and half-frozen terrain as I survey the grounds. The knights stationed here giving me the faintest acknowledgment in greeting.

I was a guest under Lord Haurchefant, yes. But those who did not take kindly to outsiders let it be shown in their neutral faces. Especially a guest branded as a murderer of royalty.

My eyes went upwards to the expansive night sky. The stars still twinkling under these weather conditions. It was under these selfsame conditions I allowed myself to feel. The frustrations of those I had fought beside betray me. The sadness of seeing Nanamo slip away before my very eyes. The horror as I watched my fellow Scions, those I had come to call family, make a stand to give us-me an opportunity to escape. These swirling emotions in the depths of my bosom and yet I could not, rather _chose_ not to make it known. I needed to be the anchor to keep our morale alive. We were given a task to keep Eorzea’s light shining.

And I had damn well mean to do it. For the others.

But for this brief moment of solitude I was granted, I could allow myself to accept these emotions.

“My friend! I thought it was your image I saw yonder.”

My attention was pulled towards the source of the greeting. My eyes widening at the Elezen making long strides towards me. Lord Haurchefant’s face etched in a slight worry at my current dress. I was without the heavier protections of my battle garb. Those protections that also kept me warm in this climate.

“It is quite late, my friend.”

“I’m well aware, Lord Haurchefant.” I noted with a slight bow, “Just sleep has seem to allude me this night. I had hoped the cold air would do me good but…”

I tried to smile at him. But it never quite felt right. He seemed to stare at me quite intently, making me step back a bit. His tall frame lending to the slight sense of intimidation I tend to feel, regardless if I knew he was quite the opposite.

“Would you like an ear to lend on?” he asked, “You have the look of a woman who needs a such a listening person.”

I had intended to answer, but nothing came out.

His face soon softened into a friendly smile, satisfied at his assumption. Were my worries that easy to see? He took a gloved hand into my bare one. The leather my skin touched chilled me that I involuntary shuddered. It seemed to only make his smile wider.

“Come, we can talk in my quarters. My intent was to retire for the night, but I believe bringing color back to those cheeks is more important no?”

I almost had wanted to refuse, to not be an inconvenience to him.

Alas, I nodded and followed behind him. We had passed knights as they rotated shifts. Some would give us a look. It was not a worrying look, but it was a look. We had arrived with little fuss to actually delay our walk. I wasn’t sure what to expect coming to the Lord’s quarters. I knew luxury wasn’t an important feature, we are on essentially front lines. But it was more spacious than I had anticipated. Despite the size, it still held a cozy atmosphere.

Certainly it had begun to warm the chill that had settled in my body.

“Pray, make yourself comfortable while I attend to a few matters.”

I took his suggestion and sat on cushions near the hearth. I took a deep sigh. That ball of unease felt stronger being in a somewhat unfamiliar place, even if it was with a friend. The area was quiet save for the crackles and pops of the fire going and shuffling of armor being removed.

It was reminiscent of the times I would come back to the Rising Stones.

“I must confess,” he had started, “I had intentions to speak with you alone earlier. Given current circumstances, I assumed I would have an opportunity later.”

Lord Haurchefant’s sudden voice brought me out of reverie. I tried to smile once again, but it didn’t quite reach authentic.

 _“You needn’t go out of your way for me.”_ I tried to say.

A warm mug of hot chocolate was thrust in my direction instead.

Pure confusion showed on my face at the gesture. I looked up meeting his ever smiling face. How did he craft the beverage so fast? Nevertheless, I lift the mug in gratitude before taking a sip. My brows rose at the taste. It was different from the recipe than the one when we first arrived here. It was milder and not with as many spice notes. Combined with the milky consistency and warmth it brought a pleasant warmth to my body.

“My thanks my lord.”

He had waved it off before sitting on his bed. The wooden frame creaking slightly with the addition of weight. “In my personal space, I have no need for such titles. So none of that while you are here friend.”

“Yes...Haurchefant.” I managed to say.

Hearing me speak his name without the title seem to brighten his smile, if such a feat was possible. I tuck a lock of my hair blue hair behind my ear. It sounded so foreign to address him so informally. It flustered me, knowing that he seemed so open in his satisfaction of my actions.

“My offer is still open. I will aid you in any manner you see fit.”

I kept my silence as I placed the half finished mug beside me. I grabbed at my hands. I wrung them out of nerves. So many thoughts circled my head at this present moment.

Where could I even start?

“What would you have of me, dear friend?” he asked.

“If I may be assertive? To call me by name as well?”

A short laugh came out of him. I looked down at myself. I must have overstepped my bounds. He still was a person of import, as friendly as he was.

“Of course, of course!” he said, “Dear Ami I had longed for the day you would allow me such a privilege.”

He went a little quieter, “Just as long as I had hoped you could do the same.”

Hearing him address me by name so personally sounded quite nice, I confess.

“Your words have such underlying meanings.” I admitted, “One would assume more. But it is nice to have someone to talk with.”

“Then let us continue, without you sitting on that cold stone.”

He motioned for me to sit beside him on his bed. After a moment’s hesitation, I motioned to join him. This was no different from times I’ve done this for others I reasoned in my head. It did feel much warmer sitting beside him. The sounds of his breathing and the subtle movements amplified now that I was closer to him. That unease from earlier tightened just a bit more. I didn’t feel unsafe, but it was a complex emotion unknown to me. I scarcely noticed how his hand had touched mines.

Or rather my bare wrist.

Those eyes lowered as he examined that area. I too looked at them. Realization crept in at why he seemed so intent on my wrists. There was still bruising from my earlier bindings. A downside of using potions to heal myself. Instead of asking for healing magics to cause more worry.

“What did those people do to you?”

“I am trained as a Monk.” I spat, “They wanted to assure I could not fight back.”

Realization dawned on his face.

“Is that the reason sleep alludes you so? Of those memories you could see?”

I say nothing to his inquiry. But my silence seemed more telling than any words I could utter. His hands started to circle the skin. Though the actual pain had long since passed, his ministrations relieved the phantom pains. Being touched in such a caring manner was somewhat new to me. At most, it was only family. The tenseness had begun to unravel, only slightly. It had felt so good, a small shudder escaped my body. He paused and I whined at it. I felt his face on my hair as I heard him try to stifle a chuckle.

We stayed like this for a while.

“Talk to me Ami.”

I had flexed my hands. I had wanted something but no clue to what I wanted to do. I gnawed on my bottom lip at the frustration of it. I couldn’t find the words to this feeling. A weight finally lifted as I heard a soft thud behind me. A quick turn revealed that Haurchefant had moved to lay on his bed. I assume he wanted to rest now. I made a movement to get up.

His hand on my hip stopped me.

“Stay.” he requested, “I do not feel comfortable having you leave at such a state.”

“Here?” I asked.

“You have my word: nothing more or less unless you will it.”

Haurchefant wasn’t a man to lie. But I still hesitated. I had shared sleeping spaces with others before. This shouldn’t be any different from those times. And perhaps some part of me didn’t want to be alone this night. I unbuckled my boots to my gear. Going without the bulkier parts of my armor meant I had less preparation to do to ready for bed. Once my body was fully on the bed, I left out a small groan at how comfortable the feather down was. It was clearly meant for a single occupant, but my smaller Hyuran frame compared to an Elezen man’s made it workable to fit both of us on there.

Close, but workable.

Regardless, I tried to respect that I was a guest and give him distance. He seemed oblivious to said intentions and just pulled me closer. There I could take in the full sight of him. Having only seen him while he was working, it was different when he’s in his personal space. There was a sense of relaxed serenity on his face.

Now I wasn’t completely oblivious to the gossip of the people here.

No one really bat an eye to his “admiration” of passing adventurers.

...What he felt towards me was just that of a concerned friend.

“Ami, is all well?”

His voice startled me once again. I shook my head. “May I,” I begin in a small voice, “I would like that lending ear. It such an insignificant trouble but I feel if I don’t speak it I may burst.”

“Of course, I am yours.” he repeated.

“You must take care of your words.” I warned, “But I am feeling uneasy. Of the situation we are in. There’s this knot of uncertainty? In me. I have nary an idea how to release it. Right now, I feel helpless. I realized how helpless I was to all of this. I watched as each of my friends take the fall to give us a chance to be here. There are...regrets I harbor in my heart. I needs be strong for Alphinaud and Tataru but…”

I trailed off into silence, not knowing how to continue. That ball of unease getting tighter once again. Haurchefant’s hands on my hips startled me. Fingers carefully kneading the skin there. Even with my cyclas as a barrier from true skin to skin contact I felt the heat coming from his body.

“I have a suspicion what that unease is.” he said, “And a possible solution. At the risk of sounding improper, how do you usually relieve such ‘frustrations’?”

I blinked.

“Relieve?” I repeated, “That is an odd turn of phrase. I usually train or a battle leaves me not as wound. It’s far too late to do either.”

There seemed to be a long silence from him.

“Is my answer not to your liking?” I asked.

He quickly shook his head, silvery locks flowing with each movement. He was still silent though, as if he was mentally wrestling something. I tilted my head in confusion. I felt as if I had missed a cue.

“May I touch you?” he asked.

The suddenness of the question took me by surprise. Wasn’t he already doing that? Nevertheless, I had like what he was doing prior. I nodded. The hold on my hips firmed as they moved around the skin, more deliberately. Knots were turning in the pit of my belly. It was a touch uncomfortable, but not unpleasant for him to stop. My body felt warmer, a warmth I never knew a body could feel. I was unaware that my body could respond in such a way over small actions.

I wanted to feel it more.

I shifted closer to him, inasmuch I was half straddling his thigh. Whether I was subconsciously knowing I was in a position or his ministrations had hit a spot within me, I grounded myself on that thigh.

Oh…

“Oh.”

The color drained on my face in realization what I had done. Haurchefant immediately stopped at my reaction. Bless that he put his concern of my reactions above everything else. I wanted to assure him that it wasn’t him. Rather it was the realization what this feeling of unease was. But I stayed silent; if I were to open my mouth no doubt a moan would come out instead. Gods, I was in a most precarious situation that didn’t involve a primal or ascian. And I was godsdamn _aroused_.

“Ami, please look at me.” I hear Haurchefant say.

In the midst of my realization panic, I had hidden my face in the heavy sheets. Eventually, I lifted my head. Instead of the expected disgust, there was understanding on his face.

“Did I not say I offer myself in _any_ manner you seem fit?” he affirmed, “There is no shame here. Within these walls you are free to throw away those preconceived notions of what you should be. _Just be_. If it is your desire to use me as an outlet, then I shan't refuse you. Nay, I even welcome it.”

I loosened my grip on the sheets. Previous conversations hit me all at once. I was unaccustomed to these feelings within. I wasn’t completely going into this wholly ignorant, having read about it in tomes and a thorough explanation of the process in my youth. But I had never thought these feelings linked to intimacy. The time seems to tick by as I struggled with my answer. Finally I took a deep breath.

“I...would appreciate that.” I confessed, “I do not know my limits, but I would like it.”

“At your own pace, Love.”

The term of endearment was not lost on me, but I would not stop him from saying it.

I gave a small nod as I adjusted myself to be straddling on his waist. Even with our bottoms serving as a barrier, I could still feel him underneath me. This simple motion made my body feel prickly hot. The sensation of having such a presence under me had me craving more. Experimentally, I shifted myself upwards. That feeling lights me up again; a hard groan escaping from my mouth.

Gods, how much did my body desire such release?

The grip on my hips firmed once again at my movement. I started small, trying to get used to such a connection; though there was no exact connection. The room felt stifling hot. I felt for the buckle on my chest that kept my cyclas in place. A quick release and the garment fell way, revealing my wrapped chest and pale skin spotted with red from my brief detainment from those traitors within the Braves. It flushed with the blush appearing of this heat blossoming in my core.

Haurchefant’s eyes were on me.

The heat rose to my cheeks as I noticed him looking at me. I moved a bit harder, wanting to forget what happened. I let out labored breaths as I felt him twitch under me.

“Y-you can touch there, i-if you want.” I stammered out.

It seemed all the encouragement he needed. Long hands taking care of my skin upward. The movements had purpose, but gentle when they touched a bruise. He didn’t seem interested in undoing my support bandages, which I was grateful for. Not that I wouldn’t have minded if he asked, but right now didn’t seem quite right. I let out a small groan as he massaged the start of hardened muscles from my training. Having such gentle caresses under calloused hands became the perfect conflict of feelings.

I wouldn’t dare shut my eyes for long. In those moments of pure darkness, I could almost imagine slightly smaller but still calloused hands and ashen hair. Someone more proportional to my stature I was doing this to.

It made my heart break more over what had transpired. I would take that pain and use it to ground harder into him. “I need more.” I begged, “I want more.”

A quick shuffle and soon I was met with the skin contact I craved. I stopped for a moment. All that stopped this was my covered lower half. Do I dare match the state of undress? I wouldn’t be faulted if I decided not to. I took another deep breath as I moved off him for a moment. My body already missing being so close. I slipped off my bottoms, smallclothes and all.

Feeling that skin contact finally, left us both panting.

I could feel everything, every ilm, every degree of heat; just everything. My mind felt overloaded with what I could do with this information. It was felt somewhat awing to know I was making him feel this way. It comforted me to know that he didn’t offer himself out of pity for me, rather he was mutually benefiting from our union as well.

“At your own pace.” he reminded me.

I nodded as I started moving. It felt so different than with clothes. Hearing Haurchefant groan under my ministrations spurned me further into my movements. I lowered my head to his chest, body grown weak to support itself, focusing the strength into moving my hips. His hand went through my hair, light kisses peppering against my stuck bangs. Which moved down to the sides of my face. I felt his lips touch the corner of my mouth. Even if we are so intimately involved, he still took care to not overstep any emotional boundaries. That in itself said more about his character than anything I had witnessed beforehand. I wanted to reward such careful consideration. I felt comfortable that we could be formally joined in intimacy.

The size difference and lack of preparation would not let that happen.

Although it was the case, it would not stop my body’s natural instinct to crave such a connection to be possible. The fact that with a shift it could happen caused my heart to thump in excitement and a pulse below. An unknown crave being revealed to me in this, I wondered? It seemed I was learning all of my body’s desires. I felt that bump to gain entrance over and over again, bringing me higher into finding my release. I felt his hands on my hips once again, this time guiding me in movements that felt good to him. He muttered my name over and over again like a mantra as we rutted against one another.

“Love, I have to-”

“It’s okay,” I quickly said, “Go at your pace, I can adjust.”

That gave him all the encouragement to move me faster against him. The quiet groans rising in cadence together as we both were chasing that high. That high that seemed ever out of reach as our bodies instinctively never wanted to separate. The gentleness was fading, replaced with intended harder thrusts. I winced at the shift, having sensitive parts being hit much more. I felt another kiss at the top of my cheeks with a whispered apology. I was at my limits, my senses becoming too overloaded. My legs tensed and my head lowered into his chest. A gentle tug of my hair brought me face to face with Haurchefant.

“Do not shy away Ami. Allow me to see you like this.”

Seeing that friendly smile while the rest of him was so enthralled with finding release sent me over that edge. My body flushed entirely as I let go. A drawn out breath left my body as I simply collapsed onto his body. In my haze I felt him twitch beneath me and a spread of warmth across my stomach. It was an odd sensation to feel our fluids on my skin. Even odder to know that I didn’t mind it overmuch. 

I had been soiled in worse after all.

For minutes, we stayed like this catching our breaths. My lungs were burning as if I had went through a rigorous battle. I felt tingly all over even the slightest touch had me shiver from being overstimulated. The logical part of mind had started to chide me in doing such an activity with someone I had not figured how I felt about. The rest wanted that part to quiet down for once and enjoy the present. Haurchefant’s hand slowly ran up and down my back touching every part of my spine.

“How are you feeling?”

I blinked.

“Tired,” I admitted, “I had nary a clue that such actions could be so draining on the body.”

“So I was right to assume this was your first time?” he asked.

“...aye.” I confessed, “I had never equated those wound up emotions as needed release. Thank you for being considerate of my...position. ‘Tis not an easy task I reckon. You hear a lot of talk in the taverns about the joy of being the first with inexperienced persons.”

He would pat me on my head before bringing my head to his chest. I could hear his heartbeat being so close, still fast from our actions. He stayed as friendly as always. It’s a mystery how this Elezen hasn’t been spoken for already. He was friendly, strong, and an attractive man all in one. I let out another breath.

“I should clean us up.” he suggested.

I placed a hand on his chest to stop him. I shook my head. He seemed a touch confused at my refusal. But soon the tips of his ears tinged pink. It was nearly adorable seeing the Elezen blush.

“We can clean on the morrow.” I responded, “I am rather comfortable where I am at this moment.”

Haurchefant let out a hearty laugh before placing his arms around me. On the morrow I would face so many unknowns. Until then, I can find solace in this different but familiar territory.

For once, I would not be plagued with dreams of my inadequacies for a change.

**Author's Note:**

> -yeets self off cliff-
> 
> But if you feel so inclined, leave a kudos/comment. I do appreciate them greatly.


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